Why can't you be normal?

Man did I hear this on a regular basis, especially from my ex wife. To be fair, it was during the period in my life when I was bodybuilding, and competing. When you get into a sport like this, and get bitten by the bug, it consumes all of you to the point where it becomes mind altering. It's like a mad fever or addiction that won't go away. Once you cross the line into the land of addiction, there's no way back, and you don't want to go back. After twenty four hours of being away from it you're ready for more, in fact, a bigger dose please. 

The learning curve of this sport is long and painstakingly arduous, but for some strange reason you can't put it down, or stop thinking about it, which is part of the attraction.The years of regimentation and sacrifice no doubt take a toll, physically and emotionally, but you have to go there or you can't realize the benefits. Occasionally when you have a lucid moment, you realize this line of thinking doesn't make sense, but your thought is fuck common sense, it's overrated.

Truth is, the way you start thinking becomes a different kind of mindset.The more you learn, and get that contact high, the more illogical things get in the sense the kind of repetitive pain you're willing to inflict upon yourself really isn't normal, but you don't give a damn. It's the price of admission, it's where you go every time. You didn't know it in the beginning, but this is what you signed up for. 

The sport has such an impact, it rubs certain people the wrong way, even if they're not directly impacted. It's a crazy thing from your perspective, because at this point you're deep in the woods, and you can't see the forest from the trees. Quite frankly you really don't care, instead you just want more, and can't wait to go back for more. 

Then one day when it all seems to be unraveling before your eyes, you wonder if she was right when she asked, why can't you be normal. But the answer in your head immediately surfaces to the forefront with a resounding Fuck No!, You would've missed this crazy ass experience. Nope, you'd rather have a leg pulled out of your ass with no anesthesia instead of being normal. I'm just saying...